I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
