The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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