She said her name was "party"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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