Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Randomize
