I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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