The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
