I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
