Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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