Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize