I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He passed out mid-signature
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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