It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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