My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
