is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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