I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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