Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
