i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Randomize