considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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