Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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