Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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