Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
