bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
