the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
