It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
