Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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