so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
