why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I would fuck him just for his dog
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
