my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
