You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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