my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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