i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you had me at cake vodka
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
