why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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