I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sext me about skeletons
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
