I feel like abortions should bother me more
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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