You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
