Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
