Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
