is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
