You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
