I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
