i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
