i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
