I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
