Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
