omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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