I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
my poor anus
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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