is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
