how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
