His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
