bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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