I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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