Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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