when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
