i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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