HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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