His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
