He kissed a someone with a penis
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
