That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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