I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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