I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
