I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just invented taco cereal.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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